An Introduction...

At the onset, I am honored to have been invited to attend this gathering with a task of delivering this keynote address. When I received the invitation, I was wondering why this task is given to me. Being an engineer by profession delivering a keynote address before religious people highly regarded as you are, might not jell with the expectations you wanted me to deliver. I really don’t know where to begin, or where to find some references to establish probable relationship between an engineer and a minister. Also, I couldn’t see a perfect starting point on how to draw a relationship appropriate to your topic today about ‘Empowerment of the Retirees through Integrity, Self Esteem, Economic Security, Recreation and Leisure’. I could only see numbers to start with because I am not as adept to biblical verses as you are. This number, I made it simple is not mathematical because I know you won’t care to listen to me anymore when I bring mathematics to an audience like you are. I may call this number a simple serial number, the serial number of our life. I mean to say that my serial number is 55 and yours are much more than mine. Of course, you are much senior than I am today.

At 55, I realized I am lucky and thankful to be invited to a gathering like this because I see this occasion as an awakening moment to start with my preparations for my coming retirement. Sooner I will be entering into your fold as one of you. But am I ready for such an eventuality of my life? The answer really is uncertain as they seem to be, because so many factors will come along the way that may affect all our plans. The prominent factors, as we see them, appear to be of physical, psychological, economic and social concerns. When we get old, the pressing issues affecting us are the negative side of these factors. How will we cope up and overcome the negative side of these factors? I am glad that your association is here to tackle some of these pressing issues. Meantime, allow me to relate to you some case observations I made with older people I happened to associate with in my long years of service not as an engineer but as a human being.

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Know Your President...

Every one of you knows about your 81 year-old president, no other than Rev. Henry Brillon Aguilan. At his age, who could believe that he still has the capabilities of a 50 year-old person? As you can see him, he seems surprisingly stable physically, mentally, economically, and socially at his age. But that’s not true! Rev. Aguilan is not spared with all the problems faced by a retired person like you. The good thing is that he uses his expertise in doing his role in life, so that he always looks glowing at his age. And I know very well that God spared this man from oblivion, like all of us here, because he still has to fulfill the mission God has on him.

The first time I met this man, I saw him as a touchy and arrogant person as he seems to be. We had a communication gap then because he spoke in biblical terms the way ministers do and I spoke in technical terms the way engineers do. Moreover, the other problem I faced then was our age gap. I really had some difficulties talking with him as he is much older than I am. As a man brought up by humble parents belonging to your generation, my high respect for older person is awesome so that I just opted to listen to him when he talks, as I did it to my own father. I saw him so emphatic in telling about his achievements and he was so demanding that he wanted things done accordingly, pronto and on time. ‘Parang masungit sa palagay ko! Siguro kulang lang sa pansin ang matandang ito’, I then surmised. In reaction to his sort of arrogance, I tried to show him also my humble achievement as an engineer and as a potential writer. Payabangan na! A negative reaction which I know cannot help bridge the communication gap between us. The good thing happened is when he started to listen and respect me as I respect him, like a son to a father. From then on, the communication avenue between us widened as I learned a lot from him as he does, regardless of our age difference.

One day, Rev. Aguilan requested me to edit and give comments to a write up he prepared from his old typewriter. What I saw was part of a manuscript of a book he has written.

“Are you writing a book?”, as I asked him.
“Yes I am.”, was his answer. “I already authored several books before.” he proudly added.

So I started to go over and correct the manuscript religiously for fear of being reprimanded by an old achiever like him. Malaki kasi ang respeto ko sa mga matatanda.

“Bakit po sa typewriter mo pa ginawa ito? Mahirap mag-edit sa typewriter. Wala ka bang computer sa bahay?” I asked him politely.

“Wala! At hindi ako marunong gumamit ng computer.” was his blunt answer to me.

“I can teach you how to use it when you have one.” was my promising answer.

I knew God has opened up his mind to my suggestion when he called me up one day to accompany him to a computer shop. But then I was surprised when he bought two sets of computers when he only needed one.

“Bakit po dalawang set ang binili mo?” I asked him.

“Para kay Gailry yong isang set.” was his answer. These words I heard from him triggered my wishes, my longing for a father like him, a father who still gives much concern to his children at his age. Besides, Rev. Aguilan strives in himself not to be isolated in this modern world by associating and learning the lessons with the younger generations so humbly like learning computer lessons from me.

From then on I respected Rev. Henry Brillon Aguilan as a surrogate father to me, a big brother, and a close barkada. Whenever he needs my services, he calls me up. When he has problems, he listens and heeds my friendly advice. In such a process, we were able to open a wide avenue of communication. Then I discovered in him the positive effect of sharing one another’s experiences by bridging the communication gap between us regardless of our age difference.

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In-law Relationship...

Another case story about my concern with older persons is all about how I love my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law is now 79 years old. She is with me now after my father-in-law died two years ago. Both her daughters have a family of their own and one of her two daughters was my girlfriend before. Now she is already my wife for 26 years. My wife survived from a heart operation four years ago and we thank God she is still alive and living normally as my closest partner in life.

More often, I heard sad stories about rocky relationship with mother-in-laws who are over protective with their children. But I proved them wrong in my case. I certainly feel my mother-in-law loves me as her own son because I see her very comfortable and happy with me and my family at home. She sees to it that my usual needs at home are provided by my wife. She always gives orders to my wife like preparing the table for my breakfast while I read the daily newspaper in the living room. She tries to show me how important I am to her that she wants me treated like this in her simple way. That’s why I love my mother-in-law as my very own mother.

Before, every early morning during weekends I use to do my taishi exercise right after the first exercise I do as a street sweeper. I love street sweeping because my muscles are flexed together with my spines while I perspire. Besides this form of an exercise as I see it, is more productive and safer than playing basketball. However, my mother-in-law took this from me by going out of bed earlier than I do. So every time I wake up each weekend morning, the street is already clean. My mother-in-law does the street sweeping for me because she loves street sweeping also as part of her daily exercise to maintain her physical stability. I have to give up street sweeping for my mother-in-law because I love her and I know she loves doing it for her own good.

My mother-in-law can still travel to places visiting her other relatives and grandchildren. She even travels alone from Antipolo to Divisoria to buy herbal medicines for our monthly health maintenance. We just let her do it to keep her associated with her circle of friends and dear ones rather than confining her at home. I know this is one way of relieving her stresses of becoming lonely at home. The risk in commuting with jeepneys in Metro Manila is very high at her age. But I see my mother-in-law has the strong determination in braving all the dangers she has ahead at her age. I knew deep inside that she wants to prove to herself that she is still capable of doing it and that she wanted to show in herself the positive attitude never surrender herself to her age. Thanks God, she is still physically active these days.

During Sundays after attending mass, I see to it that my mother-in-law is with us at the mall. She loves and enjoys playing bingo game during Sundays. I knew this is her favorite diversion, her way and reason of helping others in need by playing the game. We just let her do it as long as she is happy doing it. But I am not happy with my pocket. So every Sunday, I see to it that I have enough cash for her to play the bingo game.

My mother-in-law loves also watching sports program on TV especially boxing matches of Manny Pacquiao. It’s sad to say, Manny Pacquiao is her idol not me her son-in-law. She also enjoys watching the programs of the National Geographic Channel about wild animals especially the behavior of the monkeys and the apes. I presumed, she might be missing some of her past relatives and ancestors. But I know this is her way of recollecting her past, of unfolding the missing link of her life. Deep inside me, I feel that she just wanted to make use of her dull moments watching enjoyable TV programs at her age. So, when I’m home I see to it that she has the remote control with her always to choose any TV programs she likes watching because I love my mother-in-law as my very own mother.

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Staying Younger at Old Age!

Too many of us are concerned about aging, and getting old. Too many people in their golden years think they are nearing the entry door of the elderly and sad to say, they always try to believe that they are inside the gateway towards the departure area, their final curtain, or, the end of everything, retirement, etc. Is that so? Why are we always bothered with this kind of perception which is not true? We are still here, alive and kicking! By this fact, we have to accept life with gratitude and enjoy the happiness of living because today, our life is a present that God has given us. And as long as God has endowed upon us this dear life, we have to go on, move forward, and carry the mission He has on us. We have to make use of our physical faculties because being an elderly is neither the final curtain nor the end of everything. You might not be aware that so many people around loves you very much that your presence here on earth serves as the guiding light of the younger generations that follow you.

We can still stay younger at our age. Why not? If we are going to add all our serial numbers and divide equally the total among us it will happen that the oldest among us becomes younger and the youngest becomes older. In mathematics, this is called a system of association or sharing. My point here is that we have to associate ourselves with the younger generations, our contemporaries, and our neighborhood because by doing so will make us feel younger at our age while we also make the younger generations become mature at their age by sharing our long years of experience in life. We should not confine our association only at home with our families. Every one of us must communicate with each other, share the gifts we have, the gifts God has given us, our talents, our capabilities alongside with the dear life we have at present, because every one of us, young and old is unique by nature of our capacity as a human being. So we have to make use of them and share these gifts with other people because we are created by God that way. And the beauty of His creation in us is part of the divine proportion He designed to establish a natural harmony among all His creations in this universe. We are all part of His master plan, and all of us have a share of that plan He wants us done. That’s why we are still here, living this kind of life as His present to us, no matter who you are, young and old, good or bad, rich or poor, etc.

We are all unique as a person, young and old. The uniqueness in every human being is God’s perfect design of harmony. And why are we unique with each other? Or, why did God made me an engineer not a church worker? And why are you made by God as church workers and not engineers? Or, why are others being made farmers, carpenters, fisherfolks, teachers, doctors, scientists, etc? There seems to be so many unending questions about why we are designed by God that way, as a unique individual. Do you think harmony in this world will exist if God made us all at the same time, with one human character and embracing one vocation? Could you just imagine what will happen? Who will feed us without the farmers? Who will provide us fish without the fisherfolks? Who will heal our physical illnesses without the doctors? Who will heal our lost souls without the religious ministers? And who will guide the younger generations without you?

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On Generational Interactions

The younger generations look us up with high esteem because of our achievements in life. The problem is that most of us do not always open a healthy communication with them. We keep on imposing the younger people to do this and that. My friendly advice is…, do not impose upon them the way you want them to do. Give them the proper advice they want to hear from you, and guide them towards the right direction in a friendly way. Let us not keep looking at our achievements hanging on the walls because this will just prevent us from seeing other people except ourselves. Let the younger generations look at our achievements the way we deal with them because they look us up to emulate the good deeds we do to them.

Times are fast changing year after year. Human cultures once diversified are now deviated and seemingly realigned with the introduction of the cyber age using the internets in the computers. The world is fast moving now towards one community with the emergence of globalization and modernization. Traditions are now made ‘trapos’ or basahan. Cultural heritage is now becoming endangered towards extinction because of the rapid growth of development and modernization threatening our old ways. So many new terms emerge and are now becoming the language of the younger generations. What do we do now as elders? It’s about time now for us to learn the lessons of the younger generations to effectively guide them towards the right direction God has planned for us.

In my case, I learned a lot from my youngest son who is now in his second year high school. When my son was still in his early learning stage, I used to read him bible stories until he closes his eyes to sleep. Before sleeping, he always picks up one of the books for me to read, and wanted me home as early as I could. One day, I came home late that evening tired. I then lied down beside my wife in bed after kissing my son seemingly asleep holding a book that moment. While having whispers with my wife I suddenly heard him calling my name.

“Daddy halika tabihan mo muna ako, hindi pa ako tulog. Kwentuhan mo muna ako tungkol kay Joseph the Canaanite o di ba yong tungkol kay King David.”, he quipped.

“Anak pasensya ka na ha, pagod kasi ang Daddy mo sa trabaho. Dito muna ako tabi sa Mommy mo.”, I regretfully answered.

“Halika na Daddy, ako na lang ang tabihan mo sa pagtulog. Huwag na yan si Mommy kasi matanda na yan e.”, he persisted. Then I gave up to his demand no matter how tired I was that evening.

The words I heard coming from my youngest son echo in me until this moment. They reflect their needs for us elders to communicate with them as often as we can. Now in his teens, he teaches me the lessons in computers he learned in school including the different terminologies they used in their computer classes. During my school years I never had the lessons in computers not until my son urged me to buy one for him. So much have changed our ways nowadays! Then I came to realize the truth of the saying that, ‘there is nothing permanent in this world except change.’ So we elders have to brisk up ourselves, go with these changes, learn the lessons of the younger generations, and find our ways to guide them towards the right direction. We should now stop thinking that retirement is a stage of our final curtain, or the end of everything.

Retirement is a misnomer as some elders say. In God’s plan there is no retirement in the life He gave us, it is only us humans who choose to retire. Why? Is it because we set our minds to some usual practices that once we stop working from the long years of service, as an engineer, a doctor, a church worker, etc., we are physically if not legally mandated to retire? In some respect, we have to give up one thing we once endeared to give way for the younger generations following us. But remember that’s only one thing out of the so many things that we wanted to endear. Now is a time for us to awaken our past interests in life and find new avenues in carrying further the mission God has bestowed upon us. Name them and we can have new things to begin with using our talents and the long years of experience we have in life.

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Dealing With Traumas

We should not be weary on how the world becomes now. We should not look at the younger generations with indifference because since time immemorial this had been happening and will continue to happen in every chapters of human life. We have to accept it as it is because it is a fact, that every generation is peculiar and distinct in every way. Sometimes when our voices are not heard by the younger people and orders are not done as we like, we feel we are neglected, we feel we are nothing, because nobody cares to listen to us anymore. It’s the usual feeling of older people like us. Kulang sa pansin. Matampuhin, bugnutin at kung anu-ano na lang ang masabing masama pag hindi nasunod ang gusto. We should not stick to that kind of attitude because it will just make us shrink and deteriorate so rapidly with our age. And the effect is a bad karma not only on our part but the person who receives the invective because more often than not, we might be making this particular person a rebel instead of making him a saint. Let us all be proactive in interacting with the younger generations and find our way towards achieving a win-win solution in the process using our long years of experience.

I remember an incident when I was yet in high school. We used to take our lunch break in one of the cafeterias near the school. The owner of the cafeteria, a war veteran, seemed friendly and entertaining at the start. He used to tell us some stories about his life’s experiences. We listened, sometimes asked him some questions and tried to exchange ideas with him. We didn’t expect one day his mood was changing. He became so arrogant and one-sided telling about his heroic war experience in Korea and as a member of the guirilla warfare fighting against the Japanese. We just sit down and listened as he told us his heroic achievement as a war veteran, until one of my classmates asked him some surmising questions.

“Bakit po wala kang sugat sa katawan at parang walang nangyari sa iyo. Hindi tulad ng ibang beterano dyan na ang lalaki ng piklat dahil sa bioneta at sharpnail ng granada?, asked one of my classmates.

“Magaling akong sundalo bata at alam ko kung paano dumipensa sa mga kalaban para hindi kami tamaan.” was his bragging answer.

“Kaya po ba naging veteran ka? Siguro po pag may kalaban na kayo noon, magaling ka lang tumakbo at magtago sa foxhole. Kaya po siguro ang tawag sa iyo ay ‘better ran’ dahil magaling ka ngang tumakbo, di ba?” jokingly asked one of us.

We broke out in laughter hearing the joke. But the olderman was so serious and felt so insulted the way the question was made. I saw his face blushing as he was so angry with us. Then he uttered unspeakable invectives we believed so unbecoming of a war veteran like him.

“Mga ppptng…nyo. Wala kayong kagalanggalang sa mga matatanda. Yan ba ang natutunan nyo sa eskwela? Kayo ay pamunta pa lamang at ako ay pabalik na! Umalis na kayong lahat dito bago ko kayo pagbabarilin.”, he shouted at us with anger.

We dispersed and ran inside our school so apologetic on what we did to him.

The report of the incident reached at the office of the mother superior. We were summoned and all of us present in the incident were then scolded by kneeling before the icon of the Blessed Virgin Mary for three hours and, we were eventually suspended from attending classes for one whole week.

Now, I try to recollect the effects of this incident. His cafeteria was closed a month later. One of us became a known student leader during our college years; he eventually became an activist, and a rebel. The other one became a doctor and he is now in the US. In my case, the dream of becoming a priest was a frustration. Unfortunately, not one of us becomes a saint.

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Living A Happy Life

We cannot really please everybody! Everywhere we go, we find rejectionists, oppositionists, antis, and pros along the way. More often, we cannot really impose others the way we wanted things to happen because there’s somebody out there that will oppose our will and dampen our enthusiasm. But we don’t need to feel sorry about that. We should not feel neglected in our old age, because we are all governed by the ‘Law of the Opposites’. What is this law? This is a law of nature, a universal behavior that not one of us can change it because God designed this law to make His creation beautiful, continuous and eternal. Sir Isaac Newton is correct in his theory that, ‘In every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.’ I presumed this famous scientist knew about the ‘Law of the Opposites’. For sure we are all aware about this law but, sometimes we just don’t care to apply this law in our daily lives so that we end up in troubles in effect. Why are there male and female, rich and poor, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, young and old, land and sea, rain and fire, and day and night? These are just few of the many opposing things God has designed for us. And Saint Paul knew it when he wrote, “Do not compare yourself with others. For always there will be greater and lesser persons than you are.”

It’s about time now to change our perceptions in life as older persons, as senior citizens of this world. We have to realize that every one of us is driven by our own wheels so that we traveled each in the directions of our own choices. I travel my own way as an engineer, and you traveled your own as God’s church workers. It so happens that our wheels become worn out now from the long distance we traveled, from the various painful and solid experiences we met along the way, from the long and fruitful service we rendered to our respective professions, and to our ministry. It’s time for us to retire now! I repeat, retire now! Meaning, we have to put on new tires in our life. We have to re-invigorate the youthfulness we once had thru close association, reawaken our many interests before and find our ways towards another fruitful direction that can make us happy and worthy as human beings! We should not stop! We have to go on, travel as far as we can, fly as high as we can, and enjoy the life God has given us. After all, retirement is just an end to one lap of our choices. But always remember, there are still more options for us to choose from to live a happy and fruitful life as a retired person no matter what we are, who we are, and where we are.

To the president of this young organization of the olds, Rev. Henry B. Aguilan, his better half Mrs. Abigail Reyes Aguilan, officers and members, and to everybody who find their time attending this noble endeavor of the United Church of Christ in the Philippines, Southern Tagalog Conference, accept my warm morning greetings to you all and God bless.


(A keynote address delivered by Engr. Elias P. Bitancor on the occasion of a consultation seminar of the UCCP/STC-Retired Church Workers & Spouses Association held in Lucena City on November 18, 2006, 9:45 A.M.)